“SPARE RIB OR PRIME RIB?”
Or
“1+1=1”
TEXTS: Gen. 2:18-25; Mal. 3:13-14; 1 Pet. 3:7
INTRO: The institution of marriage was NOT invented by man, it was ordained by God. This is clear in the beginning of the Bible, which we will look at in depth.
Why a holiday celebrating love? What does it have to do with Christianity?
ILLUS: Many people do not know why February 14 is called Valentine's Day. Most people believe it got its name from a man named Valentine who lived 1700 years ago. He was a priest in
One legend tells why Saint Valentine is the patron saint of lovers. The Roman soldiers did not want to leave their homes to fight the emperor's wars. Claudius II, who was the emperor then, ordered the young men not to marry. He thought that if they did not have homes, they would be willing to go away and fight.
Valentine felt sorry for the unhappy young men and their sweethearts. He married many of them secretly. So even today, sweethearts celebrate in his honor.
Marriage has been under attack in our culture – but the Bible has a lot to teach us about what His intentions were for this sacred (not secular) institution.
PROP. SENT: The Bible teaches that marriage lived out by God’s divine order brings about not only the greatest joy to a family unit, but a living testimony about God’s love for His church.
A. Partnership Gen. 2:18
1. To understand a healthy marriage, it is necessary to understand the purpose of marriage, God has created marriage to have 3 elements to it and in a particular order, and the first of these elements is “partnership.”
a. Note that Adam was productive without Eve, he had already started “work” – but he was not complete without Eve!
b. Men need to understand this dynamic, while they may feel fulfilled in their work experience they may also feel empty emotionally and incomplete without a healthy relationship with a spouse.
c. God looked at Adam and said it was “not good for the man to be alone.”
2. When Eve is created there is nothing said at the beginning about her existence to make babies, she was made first and foremost to be Adam’s “suitable helper” (Gen. 2:18) which in the Hebrew means “a counterpart” or “partner” of equal value!
a. God’s call for having dominion over all the Earth was given to them both, (Gen. 1:28) not just Adam, they were equal partners.
b. Eve was different in function and roles, not less in value.
3. God’s purpose for marriage was clear from the beginning, one woman for one man for life, God made no other women for Adam nor any other men for Eve. Only one Prime Rib!
ILLUS: Adam and Eve had the world's only perfect marriage. She couldn't talk about the man she might have married and he couldn't complain that his mother was a better cook. - Robert C. Shannon, 1000 Windows, (Cincinnati, Ohio: Standard Publishing Company, 1997).
4. In a world that changes partners, or fails to cement a relationship as a marriage in favor of simply living together, the purpose of marriage as God intended cannot take place!
a. Every attempt by society to alter God’s intended purposes in marriage has proven to be a step backward and not one forward.
b. Though the voices in our culture are loud against a Biblical sexual ethic the evidence proves society wrong and the scriptures as true!
5. A good marriage is one built first on “partnership,” both with each other and with God!
B. Pleasure Gen. 2:22-24
1. The second purpose in marriage was pleasure, not producing children!
a. When God brings Eve to Adam to present her to him the first words out of his mouth were, “THIS IS bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh…” The first two words in English here are a translation of the demonstrative adverb in Hebrew which can also be loosely translated, “WOW, bone of my bone…” it is an expression of amazing pleasure!
b. Marriage was to be enjoyed, a relationship of great pleasure, as was their relationship with God before sin entered the picture.
2. The mutual sharing and the bonds emotionally, physically, and socially all produced great pleasure.
3. This pleasure was not just some accidental product however, it was the product of great responsibilities and a commitment to one another exclusively.
ILLUS: In the "Peanuts" comic strip, drawn by Charles Schulz, Charlie Brown says to his friend, "My Grandpa and Grandma have been married for fifty years!" The friend replies, "They're lucky, aren't they?" Charlie Brown answers. "Granma says it isn't luck - it's skill!" -- Robert C. Shannon, 1000 Windows, (Cincinnati, Ohio: Standard Publishing Company, 1997).
4. Too many young people enter into marriage today expecting pleasure without the responsibilities that are required to find it.
a. Happy couples and well-adjusted couples are those who live responsibly and a disciplined life.
b. Pleasure is a product of responsible behavior.
C. Procreation Gen. 3:20
1. Only after PARTNERSHIP and PLEASURE do we see the third purpose in marriage coming into existence, that of PROCREATION - reproduction or bearing children.
a. Eve was valued as an equal person and not just as a baby factory.
b. The loss of this in the Old Testament created a horrible imbalance in marriage for generations. Women became valued only as far as they could produce children for their husbands, this was not God’s plan for marriage, it was a distortion of it. PROCREATION moved into the #1 spot which distorted a woman’s value as equal partner.
2. In our modern society PLEASURE has been put in the #1 spot and so marriages are built solely on how we “feel” in marriage, and if it is no longer fun the relationship ends and we look for someone else to make us happy! This too is a distortion of God’s design for marriage.
3. Children should be the product of two people who are equal partners first, whose relationship is loving and joyous, the environment will then give the greatest atmosphere in which another generation will know the joy of God’s purposes in marriage.
a. Partners before Parents! Pleasure before Parents also!
b. Too often today this is missing
II. POWER IN MARRIAGE Prov. 18:22; Mal. 2:13-14; 1 Pet. 3:7
A. God’s Favor on Partnership! Prov. 18:22
1. Obtaining favor from God is a good thing! And finding a good wife brings God’s favor on your life!
2. It impacts positively all aspects of your life:
ILLUS: Across all ages and races, Americans who live alone die at a much higher rate. For example, divorced men in the under 65 ages group have considerably higher mortality rates for a number of diseases than their married counterparts. Their death rate is twice as high for lung cancer and strokes, three times as high for diseases related to hypertension, and seven times higher for cirrhosis of the liver.
3. God designed marriage as the norm for a man and a woman; even biology teaches us this from a scientific standpoint – there are nearly 50% men born and 50% females born on the entire planet – one for one!
4. God’s favor rests on marriage as an institution of one man with one woman.
B. God’s Approval on Performance! Mal. 2:13-14
1. God’s help in our lives is dependent on how well we honor marriage.
2. In Malachi’s day they complained that God did not approve of their offerings or sacrifices – and God responded that He couldn’t approve of them because of their shabby treatment of their spouses!
3. Obviously this takes work and commitment to continue to love our spouse!
ILLUS: A successful marriage is the result of falling in love often -- with the same person. -- Croft M. Pentz, The Complete Book of Zingers (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 1990).
4. By the way, notice that even in Malachi 2:14 God refers to the wife as a “PARTNER” – not a piece of property!
C. God Answers Prayers! 1 Pet. 3:7
1. Peter links God answering our prayers as men, to how we treat our wives! This is an amazing truth!
a. And the reference to the wife being a “weaker” vessel has nothing to do with inferiority – it was strictly meant as an acknowledgment of women being physically smaller and less muscular than a man.
b. Notice also that Peter refers to the wife as a “joint heir” and a “gracious gift” – so there is no implied sense of the wife as inferior at all!
c. It just meant that the man has to use all his strength to bless his wife if he wants to experience God’s favor and answers to prayers.
2. Marriage is the foundation for every institution in the world, and healthy marriages mean healthy neighborhoods, healthy nations, and a healthy person!
3. Like our walk with God, discipline and practicing what God designed takes time, but the efforts will be the greatest blessings to both husband and wife.
CONCLUSION: We are living at a time when the world is exploring ways to reinvent itself. This is nothing more than idolatry. We are making gods we wish to have, in our own image who approve what we want. The results of this will be the ruin of the very joy that God created for us to experience. No other model of marriage was designed by God except that of one woman and one man united together under God. When we live by the design God intended there is nothing on this side of eternity that will bring us greater joy than marriage.